Newt on right:
"I've spent all morning looking at elbows, so if I look at your back-side for a while, I might have more of a clue in future!"
OR
Newt on left:
" I said to the barber short back and sides, not short back-side ! "
OR
Having arranged both the time and location for their blind date, 'Left-newt' decided against the more orthodox "copy of 'The Times' under one arm / pink carnation in the lapel" approach with which to be recognised.......