Ever been to a newt colony?

[Molch]

A few weeks ago I had an interesting experience. It took me a bit of time to process it, but I’m ready now, and here it is in a nutshell:
I was telling a coworker about my newts and how I was raising larvae. There was a young man in the room who worked on a computer and didn’t really pay attention to our conversation, but when at one point I uttered the immortal words “my alpine newt colony”, his focus snapped toward me and he inquired:
“Nude colony?”
To which I answered cheerfully, “that’s right.”
He looked doubtful. “What do you mean, alpine?” he said.
I explained that the alps are a snowy mountain range in Europe and that’s where the newts are from. This explanation did not satisfy him, as he still looked puzzled. He then said something very unexpected:
“Like, boys and girls together?”
…to which I (very nearly, but I stopped myself in time) replied: “well, of course, one wants them to breed, doesn’t one?”
It then occurred to me that this young man’s adolescent brain and myself had been talking about vastly different things, while using the exact same words. Isn’t it amazing when that happens?
………..
Later, I thought about how Alpine Nude colonies are only the beginning. Our wonderful hobby offers in fact the whole range of newtist activities:

Alpine Nude Colony: not for the faint of heart. Involves bare-bottom glacier sledding and polar bear swim through a hole in the ice.
Marbled Nude Coloniy: Roman style. The ancients were not squeamish, like, at all, as you’ll know if you’ve ever been to a museum in Italy.
Ribbed Nude Colony: only for people with BMI’s under 20.
Crocodile Nude Colony: held annually on the banks of the Nile. Must sign legal waiver before attending.
Swordtail Nude Colony: only for >8 inches. They’ll take measurements at the gate.
California Nude Colony: like, anything goes, dude!
Crested Nude Colony: gotta have a Mohawk and some body piercings, or at least a rude tattoo.
Red-spotted Nude Colony: you don’t want to go to this one. They ain’t talking, but we think it’s syphilis.
Smooth Nude Colony: shaving (everywhere) is mandatory.
Fire-belly Nude Colony: these people keep falling asleep while sunbathing.
Paddle-tail Nude Colony: illegal in all countries except Sweden.
Warty Nude Colony: after they were banned from all the others, they formed their own, poor people.

…no doubt I forgot some…didn’t I ?

 

[aeviette]

Nude larvae colony. Ouch.

 

[Mark]

Hehheh! I had a very similar conversation about hobbies with a co-worker which went like this:

Me: "I've got a room full of newts"
Co-worker: "You have a room full of nudes?"
Me: "Yes, I know it's a bit unusual isn't it?"
Co-worker: "What do you do with them?"
Me: "Look after them, take photos of them, that kinda thing."
Co-worker: "Weird"
Me: "It's not as bad as it sounds."
Co-worker: "photos of naked people - in your house?"
Me: "Eh?"
Co-worker: "The nudes - in your house"
Me: "Ah, no. Newts, not nudes"
Co-worker: "What's a newt?"
Me: "It's an amphibian"
Co-worker: "So no naked people?"
Me: "Sadly not."
Co-worker: "I thought that sounded like a strange hobby."

 

[grius]

How do you guys come up with this stuff haha. Hilarious.

 

[Yahilles]

That's hilarious, people!
Happily, in my language the word we use for newts (traszki) is only similar to word we use for funny verses (fraszki), so it's hard to have mistake like Mark and Molch had. On one polish language lesson the teacher told one girl to type about one poet's writing on the blackboard- and listed those funny verses among them. The girl misheard the teacher and typed about newts.

 

[Molch]

in German it wouldn't happen either . Molch (= German for newt) doesn't rhyme with too many things, except Dolch ("dagger").