Any advice for girlfriends during rainy seasons?

[holly]

I knew nothing of this obsession when we first started dating. Now two years later, the gorgeous, fun loving boy I started dating gets more excited by what the cretures are doing than me. HELP!

 

[brendan]

dress up like a salamander, and crawl around on the floor, he may find this... attractive... lol. seriously, you should get into it too. its a great hobby.

-brendan

 

[holly]

We are at 5 tanks! They have their own room! We come home from a party and the only thing on his mind is sitting in the tank room and watching for a sign of life.

 

[brendan]

yea, so? talk to him. tell him you think that you two need to spend more time together. i really think you should get into the hobby too. if you two are in it together, that in and of itself can be a great bonding experience. as long as he doesnt call out his salamander's names in bed, i think you two will be just fine. and if he does, than he needs help...

-brendan

 

[holly]

I actually think the little sal. are really cute (spotted, I think). Is it true that you have to use a special kind of soap in order to hold them?

 

[brendan]

no, you use NO soap in order to hold them. if you use any soap or perfume or lotion, or what not, rinse your hands THOROUGHLY to remove all traces of whatever it was. anything like that can be bad news for a salamander - their skin is like a sponge, it soaks up whatever it comes in contact with. also, your body temperature is WAY different than theirs. they are cold blooded, so their body temp is that of their surroundings. yours is about 98.6 degrees, if youre healthy. a very uncomfortable difference from their point of view.
this discussion reminds me of the monty python skit with the people that think they are mice. dressing up like mice and eating cheese and all... just thought i'd share that...
im outta here.

-brendan

 

[david]

Have you tried enticing him away from his animals by using tail fans, tail whips and tail flicks. These techniques bring out the beast in Triturus species. Maybe it'll work on him too

 

[morg]

Morgs wife here.
If he is anything like my husband Im afraid you will have to get used to this.
Almost all of my husbands spare time is spent either in his room of newts, or out watching his garden ponds.

 

[paris]

wait wait there- would you rather be a football widow??

well be assured there that the other side of this coin also exists. there are some female caudate obsessors-like pin pin and jenni and i (although i am single and have over 50 filled tanks and many more temp containers and have my animals in 2 different locations-so im a little out of the loop). if a man is to get obsessively into herps it is better -in my opinion- to do these, they arent expensive and macho -like snakes and lizards-so he probably wont get into obsessive '1 upping-ness'. one thing to note about these animals is they are very soothing to watch-and more interactive than fish, lizards, snakes, rabbits etc...they are unique in their character in that they are not by nature 'agressive' (ok maybe a hellbender if its threatened-but a human approaching them has no fear of them lunging out and biting-like lizards, snakes and rats-there is no need to 'tame' them) humans are seen as 'food dispensers' not threats. (i have been bitten only once and it was on mistake since he was blind in that eye and i handed him food) on just a purely pragmatic look at them -they reduce stress and cost less than fancy salt water fish set ups-so your guy should be a fairly mellow guy-and he probably doesnt spend alot of cash on going out and partying-right? (i know im more interested in my guys-and i have much much more than most people-than drink, drugs or partying (my animals cost as much as a drug habit- a LIGHT drug habit-but are much more fulfilling)

my one selling point to other people i meet about the animals is that 'it is like gardening but with a twist'. it is a very nurturing hobby-my previous hobby was collecting breyer model horses -i had over 500 of them-so i have replaced one obsessive hobby with another but this hobby is at least a constant learning experience that enriches my life-not like my old one that was just 'treasure hunting and hoarding'-the upside is that i am always learning something(which is my biggest hobby -learning) and i can occasionally subsidise a little of the hobby by selling CB offspring. on top of this i have now returned to school to complete 2 degrees to further my interest in these animals and the environment. the fact that you BF is interested in them tells alot of his character-it is a form of stress relief - do you fear it is a form of escapism?

one of the draws to this hobby is to create small worlds and to feel all is well when the animals are healthy, interactive and will reproduce. the upside of these guys is they are restricted to cages/tanks and thus the house wont smell (although my sister complains of the algae smell -its still better than a house filled with dogs, cats or snakes). you may want to address the issue with him that you fear it is a form of escapism - but the hobby itself then isnt to blame. i myself find that encouraging others to see my world often drags them in (and herping hikes are ideal interactive dates to me)my nieces, coworkers, coworkers kids and even strangers are facinated by these creatures (even pipa pipas and caecilians) maybe perhaps because enthusiasm is contageous -but again its got alot to say about character.

 

[morg]

I have to say that I find my wifes post above a bit unfair.
I do not spend all of my spare time with my amphibians, I have to leave some time to attend punk rock gigs as well.

 

[joeri]

<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>Holly Sharp (Thegirlfriend) wrote on Thursday, June 24, 2004 - 18:05 :</font>

"I knew nothing of this obsession when we first started dating. Now two years later, the gorgeous, fun loving boy I started dating gets more excited by what the creatures are doing than me. HELP!"<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>

And you ask advice from other newt lovers?

My girlfriends is sometimes amazed by the attention I give to my newts, but as she is an animal lover as well, she understands it perfectly. And by now she's fond of the little guys as well. She likes them a lot now as well, and she likes me talking about it.

She did buy us a dog to keep herself busy though

(and I love the dog!)

 

[holly]

Paris- you hit it on the head. My guy is well natured and would rather take me to a park (only as a disguise to walk around flipping over logs) on a beautiful Sunday afternoon than waste in inside watching football. And, even though I have heard him use the same pet names towards them that he uses on me, I guess I should count myself lucky that I get more jealous of a caudate than a real date.

 

[paris]

btw...who is it we are talking about???

-you never mentioned if he is a regular here or someone we dont know.

 

[kaysie]

I suggest give in to the sals. they're very cool.

 

[meghan]

I'm with Kaysie! And anyways, be glad his interests/searches are for these awesome creatures and not for other girls!

Give it time, you'll be sucked into it in no time with no turning back

 

[david]

I would have to agree with everyone here. You can't change him so accept his habits and try to find out why he is so interested in them. You may find that you love them like my girlfriend and my sister both did.